Scattered Minds: The Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder
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- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2023-02-25 20:22:14
- Update Date：2025-09-08
- Status：finish
- Author：Gabor Maté
- ISBN：B0BQG2T1GY
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
Reviews
Jenny
，
Extremely insightful！
Gabe Halverson
，
Just earth shattering， everyone with ADD should read this！
Emma
，
2。5
Ada Tarcau
，
A dense book on the subject。 The author has an internal and compassionate perspective， having ADD himself and having raised 3 children with ADD （apart from his experience in family practice and expertise in mental illness）。Another strength of the book is that it frames ADD not as an illness but as an underdevelopment - which I find empowering。 "Instead of asking why a disorder or illness develops， we ask why a fully self-motivated and self-regulated human personality does not" （Focusing on what A dense book on the subject。 The author has an internal and compassionate perspective， having ADD himself and having raised 3 children with ADD （apart from his experience in family practice and expertise in mental illness）。Another strength of the book is that it frames ADD not as an illness but as an underdevelopment - which I find empowering。 "Instead of asking why a disorder or illness develops， we ask why a fully self-motivated and self-regulated human personality does not" （Focusing on what conditions are needed and what conditions inhibit / interfere with the growth process）。 I have also found useful this caveat: “Learning about the psychological and biological mechanisms of ADD gives a map to the self。 But only a map， no more。 [Although lacking it -> discouraging confusion]。 The map is not to be confused with the journey。 It is still up to the individual to pluck the course。”While I have found the book very useful （it explores healing ways of being with our children and ourselves）， it does have its limitations （I have often felt as if everything was seen / explainted through the ADD lens， which in turn was seen through the lens of early childhood， as if surely something has gone wrong there。 Ex: "each time we scream at someone in traffic we are telling a story from the earliest part of our life" - i thing rather we are telling a story of what we did with what has happened to us， it is more likely an ongoing story of becoming， of tiny choices turned into habits， a story of how we habitually dealt the hand that we were given）。 I also have a few points of disagreement with the author （for example it sometimes explains things by attributing to “nature” a super-intelligent mind and a very complex goal of its own）。 All these being said， it is an important， revelatory， helpful read。 ******Here is how the book ends， it is one of my favorite passages:"To love is to extend oneself toward another or toward oneself， says Dr。 Peck。 It so happens that this is also the precise meaning of giving attention to another person or to oneself。 The origin of the word attend is the Latin tendere， “to stretch。” Attend means to extend， to stretch toward。 If we can actively love， there will be no attention deficit and no disorder。"Below are some of my jotted notes"es:Some descriptors of the ADD interior world: *Many roads not travelled。 Distractibility。 Short attention span。 Absent-mindeness。 Daydreaming。 Not-noticing， inattentiveness except hyperfocus in activities of high interest & motivation; lack of active attention in low interest tasks。*Impulsivity （in decisions， purchases; on a whim， x forethought）。 Unmindful of the consequences。 Poor impulse control。 *Hyperactivity: x ability for stillness， x ability for relaxation， always having a feeling that i ought to be doing smth else instead。 Fidgety。 Organic drivenness*Restlessness + Procrastination until it is urgent: threat of failure / reward immediate to rouse the motivation apparatus*Forgetting to remember the future - underdeveloped circuit of time intelligence: immature time-balance sense; chronic incapacity to consider the future （only the present exists with short term goals chosed over the ling term， except the acvitities and projects that arrouse the sluggish motivation-reward nexus in the brain）*Lack of self-regulation: emotional intelligence undeveloped from childhood; low self-motivation; （Emotional intelligence: Being able to motivate oneself and persist in the face of frustrations; to control impulse and delay gratification; to regulate one's moods and keep distress from swamping the ability to think）。 Failures: rage as parents （like a toddler）*Hypersensitivity （increased reactivity to emotional stimuli） - like "emotional allergies" - more easily affected by tone/words/the emotions of others （The gift behind: exiquisite tuning - artists， inventors， poets， prophets）For parents*giving your children the gift of a mindful， secure， reliable parental presence and a relationship that fosters growth instead of oppositionaloty/counterwill*“attunement” is crucial - synchronized emotional response to the child， sharing & understanding how the other one is feeling - it is part of a healthy secure attachment *the importance of “unconditional positive regard” from parents toward their children （no conditions of worth attached to it “i care。”）*accepting the child， not expecting him to be different， convey disapproval not rejection / emotional withdrawal， wooing the child; *the dangers of over-criticism AND over-praise （“acquired self-esteem” is just as bad as low self-esteem）*being compassionately curious about the cause/meaning of the child’s negative emotions / misbehaviours*compassionate patience: tolerance for failure。 allowing/making room for the child’s mistakes and his opportunity to learn from them*diffusing counter-will*not taking things personally， being flexible， not being dramatic/catastrophic/anxious *The warmth and satisfaction of positive contact with the adult is often just as good as a psychostimulant in supplying the child’s prefrontal cortex with dopamine*bottomline: devote a lot of attention to them！ Self-regulation is like a thermostat / mammal thermoregulation that adapts in a wide range of habitats。 It is the ability to maintain the internal environment within a safe range， regardless of external circumstance。 Not controlled by: uncontrolled exuberance / despondency， not passive submission nor blind range。 X despair etcChildren （immature in self-regulation） are like cold-blooded animas - internal balance easily upset by external variations， they are reacting instead of responding， hard transitions because of low flexibility。“We think that children act， whereas what they mostly do is react。 Parents who realize this acquire a powerful tool。 By noticing their own responses to the child， rather than fixating on the child’s responses to them， they free up tremendous energy for growth”！ The importance of “the awareness that one does not know his or her spouse， his or her children。 We may believe we have a perfect idea of why they act as they do， when in reality our beliefs reflect no more than our own anxieties。”“Whenever we ascribe a motive to the other person， as in “you are doing this because。。。，” we discard curiosity and immobilise compassion。”Self-parenting*mindfulness instead of autopilot*remember yourself in the future*clear the physical space around you: organised effect on the mind。*fight the “all or nothing mindset”， but small， incremental goals （ex。 work for a strict timelimit）*sleep hygiene， exercise， nutritious diet （which does not upset the glycemic flux）， being outdoor （the beauty in nature is structured and soothes the mind）， *have a creative outlet （creativity is a strong point in add）*prayer 。。。more
applekern
，
Given the current social media landscape， I do think this book needs somewhat of a disclaimer， that this is not meant as a self diagnosis book but as an educating book for people with AD（H）D， parents of AD（H）D and others interested in education on the topic。As for the review of this book， I had been looking into AD（H）D for a while before this book， and still I was able to learn quite a lot from Matè & I‘m happy I ended up picking up such a profoundly researched and still easy to read book。 I enj Given the current social media landscape， I do think this book needs somewhat of a disclaimer， that this is not meant as a self diagnosis book but as an educating book for people with AD（H）D， parents of AD（H）D and others interested in education on the topic。As for the review of this book， I had been looking into AD（H）D for a while before this book， and still I was able to learn quite a lot from Matè & I‘m happy I ended up picking up such a profoundly researched and still easy to read book。 I enjoyed the first hand experience tied in with research， while there surely is a lot of content packed into these pages it was not an overwhelming read - difficult thing to do。 My personal conclusio is that it is a thorough recommendation， but no book is truly without flaws / can exist without generalisations and so is the case with this one。 The author， despite the english neutral pronoun „they“ being right there， interchanges he or she pronouns throughout the book and indicates that „everyone should feel included this way“。 Well， love the thought do not love the execution。 Especially， since AD（H）D in girls looks differently and thus such a huge chunk of research was a little neglected here。 。。。more
Мирослава
，
Чудесна книга。 Дава много разбираема и ценна информация не просто за СДВ， а за взаимоотношенията между хората и най-вече между родители и деца （и как да си бъдем добри родители също）。
Ann Owe
，
I knew going in that this book had no basis in any kind of research or evidence， but even with that knowledge， I was surprised by how confidently these theories were presented - without even bothering to acknowledge the ideas as entirely theoretical。 Bizarre。
Hana Harris
，
I have found this book very difficult to read as an ADD reader and a parent。 There are a few useful sections， however I agree with some of the other readers on here， it is very triggering。 I felt quite overwhelmed thinking over the chapters that explore family blame and can feel very negative。 All in all I really hoped to gain a positive insight into ADD and ways to continue balancing life， I came away feeling low and frustrated。 I cannot say that I recommend this book to anyone that is parentin I have found this book very difficult to read as an ADD reader and a parent。 There are a few useful sections， however I agree with some of the other readers on here， it is very triggering。 I felt quite overwhelmed thinking over the chapters that explore family blame and can feel very negative。 All in all I really hoped to gain a positive insight into ADD and ways to continue balancing life， I came away feeling low and frustrated。 I cannot say that I recommend this book to anyone that is parenting whilst also navigating ADD。 。。。more
Ryan
，
I initially strayed away from this as it didn't seem recent enough。 The Myth of Normal changed my life， and this book has as well。。。I am very， very grateful for Gabor Mate。。。 I initially strayed away from this as it didn't seem recent enough。 The Myth of Normal changed my life， and this book has as well。。。I am very， very grateful for Gabor Mate。。。 。。。more
Nina Williams
，
Gabor Mate provides an insightful look into let's call it 'improving one's coping mechanisms when living with ADD/ADHD aka scattered mind or raising someone with it or both'。I have read a few unflattering reviews of the book particularly related to the author's view of the causes of ADD （including the sections about the gaze， and if the infant interrupts it， it's when they've had enough interaction， but when the mother interrupts it， it causes separation anxiety。。。so if we all stare into our bab Gabor Mate provides an insightful look into let's call it 'improving one's coping mechanisms when living with ADD/ADHD aka scattered mind or raising someone with it or both'。I have read a few unflattering reviews of the book particularly related to the author's view of the causes of ADD （including the sections about the gaze， and if the infant interrupts it， it's when they've had enough interaction， but when the mother interrupts it， it causes separation anxiety。。。so if we all stare into our babies eyes for the first 1-2 formative years of their lives， we would improve their emotional stability later on。。。）。 So， word of advice， read through Part 1 & 2 on the nature and brain chemistry of ADD with a pinch of salt。 I almost got depressed after reading these chapters， thinking I've ruined my connection with my daughter！BUT and it's a big but， I would recommend it to anyone who has been diagnosed or thinks they've got it or their kids got it。 In fact， I would recommend it to anyone who wants to be a parent， not just to a baby or a toddler but to a growing human being whom despite resembling their parents and sharing their DNA， is a unique individual。 The following chapters into restoring that relationship are invaluable， including restoring the relationship with oneself。 I agree with the view that 'the family as an institution has been put under enormous strain by our society and culture' not just in the West but elsewhere too。 It takes a village to raise a child and nowadays， we sometimes don't even have two parents present （my own parents checked out when I was too so it's a miracle I only got away with ADHD）。 And I particularly like his view against medication。 He provides a very succint overview of the types of medication and how they work， highlighting the particular challenges that no two brains are the same and in some case， it may take a long time to find the right dose or， in some cases， the medication might not work at all， or the side effects outweigh the positives。 I took my time to study the book rather than just read it and my key takeaways are:-reiteration that how we talk to younger children， including intonation and facial expressions are often more important than what we are actually saying- make children， especially sensitive ones （I like his comparison with their skin and allergies - if they are sensitive on the outside， they tend to be sensitive on the inside too） explicitly aware that our love doesn't depend on their performance （it has taken me a long time to apply this to my own life）- one doesn't parent from anger and children's behaviour doesn't make us angry， the trigger is in the parent; and we need to make children aware that they are not responsible for our emotional balance - we should foster children's self-esteem not based on their looks or performance in sport or school， and make them aware they are loved as our children and human beings （this is very simplified， he suggests a change of approach when we praise - instead of saying "well done" or "you've made us so proud" so make the comments about the deed or us as a parent; instead we should praise the child's effort， commitment and perseverance。 Despite the doubtful ideas about the origins of ADD （after all， our understanding of the brain altogether is still nowhere near complete）， I would definitely recommend the book， mainly for it's healing approach and prompting awareness of the importance of relationships rather than focus on how to control the behavioural aspects。 。。。more
Sam
，
I love how well this book develops the theory that ADHD begins in childhood because of a mix of genetic predisposition and environmental influences。 It recontextualized my childhood in a helpful and validating way。 Despite this， I'm a little frustrated that in the last couple chapters when the author gives specific recommendations for what to do as an adult with ADHD， he flies through some general suggestions。 Additionally， as a scientist I find his lack of citations disconcerting。 He says that I love how well this book develops the theory that ADHD begins in childhood because of a mix of genetic predisposition and environmental influences。 It recontextualized my childhood in a helpful and validating way。 Despite this， I'm a little frustrated that in the last couple chapters when the author gives specific recommendations for what to do as an adult with ADHD， he flies through some general suggestions。 Additionally， as a scientist I find his lack of citations disconcerting。 He says that it's so readers don't get bogged down， but there are a few times he states things as fact and offers no evidence。 I think that if you're reading this for your own ADHD （you don't have a child with ADHD）， there are probably better books out there。 。。。more
Alejandra Pedraza
，
An amazing perspective on ADHD。 I thought his approach was refreshing and helped me understand this condition deeply。 I resonated with it a lot and I absolutely loved the parenting advice he gives throughout the book！
Anisha Ramani
，
Maté’s perspective on ADHD， emphasized by the biopsychosocial model。 Treating ADHD as an attachment based disorder， Maté explores the generational origins of ADHD， behavioral addiction， and the human need for connection， self-identity， and autonomy。
Crystal Dwinnell
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Valuable insight in understanding ADD as an attachment disorder。 Not sure I would recommend this to parents of ADD children as it could be taken as shaming though it’s certainly not the authors intent。
Stanislas Elvira-Martin
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By far and large， one of the most meaningful books I have read in my life。 Now diagnosed 7 months ago， my understanding of ADHD is growing， but constantly leads to new questions particularly in regards to what Dr。 Maté points out as the "connection between human relationship and attention"！ His understanding the social and （family） environmental impact has been revolutionary for me。 My book is FILLED with sticky notes， where each represents a relatable experience for me。 This book has helped me By far and large， one of the most meaningful books I have read in my life。 Now diagnosed 7 months ago， my understanding of ADHD is growing， but constantly leads to new questions particularly in regards to what Dr。 Maté points out as the "connection between human relationship and attention"！ His understanding the social and （family） environmental impact has been revolutionary for me。 My book is FILLED with sticky notes， where each represents a relatable experience for me。 This book has helped me gain insight and a reason for the feelings， experiences I've had throughout my life。 It truly taught me how to work on being more compassionate to myself。To parents in the comments who seem to criticize the emphasis on parenting style and worsening symptoms: you are not bad parents， most of you are giving your everything to your children， but this does not mean that our demons do not follow us around。Thank you Gabor ❤️ 。。。more
Julia
，
Maybe I do have ADHD because I was a little distracted while I read this book。 I have suspicions that one （maybe all） of my children has ADHD， so this was a good starting point。 I liked how he stated that Attention Deficit includes not getting enough attention from parents and caregivers。 I hate that it's always associated with trauma， especially when I'm the mother that contributed to the trauma。 But it makes sense。 Maybe I do have ADHD because I was a little distracted while I read this book。 I have suspicions that one （maybe all） of my children has ADHD， so this was a good starting point。 I liked how he stated that Attention Deficit includes not getting enough attention from parents and caregivers。 I hate that it's always associated with trauma， especially when I'm the mother that contributed to the trauma。 But it makes sense。 。。。more
lane paul fontana
，
LFG。。。
Rudi
，
5 sterren voor de schrijver die me een leuke leestijd heeft gegeven， ik heb het gevoel dat het een aangenaam persoon is met het hart op juiste plaats die wat worstelend met negativiteit， 3 sterren omdat ik soms een andere mening heb over de inhoud （ wat het leerrijk maakt ） Het brein labelen en de hokjes is niet helemaal mijn visie ， （ ik zie het meer als kleuren die in elkaar overgaan en die met de beweging van tijd wat kunnen verkleuren） ， er wordt ook wat superieur geschreven over het normaal 5 sterren voor de schrijver die me een leuke leestijd heeft gegeven， ik heb het gevoel dat het een aangenaam persoon is met het hart op juiste plaats die wat worstelend met negativiteit， 3 sterren omdat ik soms een andere mening heb over de inhoud （ wat het leerrijk maakt ） Het brein labelen en de hokjes is niet helemaal mijn visie ， （ ik zie het meer als kleuren die in elkaar overgaan en die met de beweging van tijd wat kunnen verkleuren） ， er wordt ook wat superieur geschreven over het normaal en het moreel op hogere hoogtes staan （ op hoge hoogtes is het ijskoud ， koud als de hel ） de dingen zien zoals ze zijn niet zoals men wil dat ze zouden zijn zou al wat moeilijkheden uit de wereld en het hoofd helpen ， Leuk zelfhulpboek om wat begripvol ， compassievol met zichzelf en anderen om te gaan ， 。。。more
Amanda
，
**update** I just read the community reviews and want to remind readers that THIS BOOK WAS WRITTEN 23 YEARS AGO。 The references to ADHD research you're asking for are fewer than I'd prefer too， but considering the majority of modern ADHD research has happened within that 23 years， yes， there are fewer references and a lot of newer research out there。 The notes and bibliography are still several pages。 I still think his perspective on the environmental influences on genetically predisposed brains **update** I just read the community reviews and want to remind readers that THIS BOOK WAS WRITTEN 23 YEARS AGO。 The references to ADHD research you're asking for are fewer than I'd prefer too， but considering the majority of modern ADHD research has happened within that 23 years， yes， there are fewer references and a lot of newer research out there。 The notes and bibliography are still several pages。 I still think his perspective on the environmental influences on genetically predisposed brains is worth examining。 Read more current research， absolutely！ But please， for the love of pete， look at the copyright date before you go off。***Great book with excellent insight into ADHD especially from a child development and attachment perspective。 Very interesting to see how public and medical understanding of ADHD has changed since this was published in 1999， both due to the ongoing and increasing prevalence and new insights from new research。 As someone with cPTSD who is very familiar with child development and attachment research AND is getting assessed for ADHD， it was fascinating to see the parallels drawn by Dr Maté between those early attachment disruptions and the experience of ADHD symptoms。 The idea that childhood trauma at worst or even minor attachment issues could disrupt healthy neurophysiological development and cause some of these lasting effects， especially if there is a biological predisposition to it and especially if the child is particularly sensitive， seems extremely reasonable。 I'm surprised I haven't heard it mentioned elsewhere as a contributing factor to the development of ADHD。 Im going to do some follow-up research of course， but the ideas presented are very persuasive。 The writing was extremely well organized with excellent style and very accessible。 Great book 。。。more
nini ♡
，
Gabor Maté >>>>>>
Mridul
，
As being previously mis-diagnosed with ADD， and later found out that it was executive dysfunction， I totally related to the childhood experiences he explained in the book。 P。S。 I only give 5 stars to info-dense books。 ;）
Mihai Pop
，
Not sure if I lack attention more than the average， I might do， but that is not why this book is relevant to me as an individual， and why it might be relevant to you。 The book is relevant because of it's approach to development from conception to old-age， and how， in the case of people with multiple foci （also called with attention deficiency）， should be nudged from being a problem， into a place where they can form the solution。It's a wise book， for much wider attention that the author himself h Not sure if I lack attention more than the average， I might do， but that is not why this book is relevant to me as an individual， and why it might be relevant to you。 The book is relevant because of it's approach to development from conception to old-age， and how， in the case of people with multiple foci （also called with attention deficiency）， should be nudged from being a problem， into a place where they can form the solution。It's a wise book， for much wider attention that the author himself had hoped。 。。。more
Olufunmike Alabi
，
This is the best book about ADHD I’ve read。 He encourages us to focus on long-term goals of deeper relationship and connection with the ADHD child instead of manipulating the child with rewards to achieve short term goals。This book has inspired me to go on a journey of self-knowledge so I can help myself first。 I loved how he referred to what most people call a string will as a weak will。 Charlotte Mason used the same terminology in her volumes。I’m grateful I started my year with this book。
Jennifer Tina
，
I loved this book！ It made me realize how much I did not know about ADHD。 I see some reviews that people get defensive， feeling Dr Mate is telling them they are a crappy parent。 To me it didn’t feel like that， insomuch he points out the flaws in our society。 The lack of support to parents to be with their child physically and emotionally due to financial constraints。 Good read for those who are curious for the science， and for tips to managing ADD as well。
Rositsa
，
Брилянтен доктор Мате！ Само мога да съжалявам， че не познавах работата му преди 12 г。 Най-искрено препоръчвам тази книга на всеки настоящ/бъдещ родител и не само。 Габор Мате обяснява разбираемо и достъпно， а в края на книгата има цитирани източници за по-задълбочено запознаване с темата。
Julia
，
I'm familiar Maté's more recent work on addiction and the myth of normality， but was so happy to realize this older but still so useful book existed。 Attachment and its related interpersonal sequelae are my main ways of viewing/conceptualizing the clinical work I do， so his attachment/attunement-based perspective on ADHD was just a breath of fresh air。 It's maddening， however， to realize how non-mainstream his perspective still is。 Anyway， this is a *great* book for clinicians， people with ADHD， I'm familiar Maté's more recent work on addiction and the myth of normality， but was so happy to realize this older but still so useful book existed。 Attachment and its related interpersonal sequelae are my main ways of viewing/conceptualizing the clinical work I do， so his attachment/attunement-based perspective on ADHD was just a breath of fresh air。 It's maddening， however， to realize how non-mainstream his perspective still is。 Anyway， this is a *great* book for clinicians， people with ADHD， and people who love people with ADHD （I fit in both the first and third categories）。 Maté is wise， COMPASSIONATE， and always aware of how the way we view "problems" can also circumscribe our solutions。 Will definitely read more of his book-length work based on this one。 。。。more
Eltjana
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Insightful！
Em
，
This book is relevant to mental health as a whole， not just ADHD。 It was engaging and the writing was beautiful。 I love how the author incorporated their own experiences and their patients’ throughout the book。 It definitely changed my outlook on the development of mental illness and treatment。
Spiros Kalimeris
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Words escape me。 Excellent！
Aly Up
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